- CANADIAN AUTHOR -
V. Joy Pavelich
THE BOOK
Chasing My Son Across Heaven
ISBN 978-1-937909-66-2
From THE LOSS - "Sometimes there is no winner in a battle. Sometimes there is just no give from you or your opponent - and then comes a time where you put your swords down and shake hands, acknowledging that you fought with everything you had". Eric Schmit
"This vivid recall, the entrenched memories - I know from my research that this is how trauma is stored in the brain - fractured images with intense emotions attached. The brain - memory - has its own storage system for life-changing moments such as these.
What I can't remember, though, are the words that changed my life forever.
I don't remember being told the words that my son was dead.
Somewhere, within the 24 hours that made up August 4, 2013, are a select few seconds so painful they have been relegated to a place buried deep in my subconscious from where they may never resurface.
That day - that moment in time - created a giant vortex, where questions, guilt, sorrow and blame found their home in the aftermath of the tragic end of Eric's long-standing battle with mental illness.
When Eric's story ended, mine began." Joy Pavelich
Reviews
AMAZON
Grady Harp, USA, Amazon Top Reviewer: In this superbly written memoir and reflection, Joy communicates her anguish and loss in a manner that allows each of us to relate to her tragedy. Never sanguine or morbid, her writing expresses all the phases of this life-changing event, and just as impressively, the inspiring messages of how to travel through the immediacy of a trauma to gradually rebuild a broken life. The beauty of her words demonstrates how recovering from her loss does not include ‘putting things in the past’ in order to move on: the strength comes from keeping the love alive instead of ‘burying’ it. “I’ve literally gone to the end of the Earth in search of all I had lost when Eric left this physical life. In chasing him to Heaven’s door, as he walked with me across Earth, I found what I needed to go on again I searched for God, and it was in looking deep inside myself, my own soul, that I found Him, the God of my understanding.’ This is a radiant book, very powerful and moving, and an honest urge to mend our lives after a loss. Highly Recommended.
Peace of Heart: Excellent to read ...from the heart. When you have a lost a dear loved one so suddenly, like I have ...there is a constant search for validation as a Mother that the earthly relationship between you and them continues in another spiritual realm, no matter what! My condolences, and thank you Joy for sharing.
Margaret Schmit, Saskatchewan, Canada: Truly a wonderful book...so well written ...and life changing messages to learn from...read it...learn from it ...and share it...❤️
Thoughtful: It’s a book to help you understand the struggle of losing someone. It gives many different things to think about as Joy. Ones to terms with her sons death.
MIDWEST BOOK REVIEW
Mary Cowper, Midwest Book Review MBR Bookwatch: Demonstrates to others how they too can rebuild a life fractured by extreme trauma using storytelling as a powerful healing tool . . . tackles some of the most pressing issues facing society today; youth mental health, suicide and post-traumatic stress. Through her explorations, Joy [Pavelich] reveals how we can all find the courage to rebuild our lives while continuing to honor the deep love for those we've lost . . . sensitive, compassionate, and deftly handled on an inherently painful subject . . . an absorbing and ultimately inspiring read."
GOODREADS
Penny Leach, Alberta, Canada: This marvelous book walks us through the unimaginable loss of a child. With deft intelligence and raw emotion Joy engages us in a journey towards peace and knowledge that she can connect and communicate with her son In the after-life.
There are many angles to this book. First of course is the grief with losing a child. We have been led to believe that the grief is an orderly process that follows expected stages. It is fact like being in a life raft in the middle of an ocean storm. Full of chaos and doubts of survival; the struggle and journey comes with no expectation of release.
Second, there are the struggles with a child with mental health issues so serious that they beckon one into submission to death. To think we have any enlightenment on male depression and anxiety is an understatement.
Third, we are challenged as to our faith in terms of the after life; all the questions we have and dare not voice. Joy’s restlessness and unrelenting search for connection with her son is an inspiration to us all to not consider death as an ending.
The fourth angle is the sense of confidence in Joy’s ability and strength to share her story so others can also survive. I believe this strength is related to her roots, her family and her deep connection to a small town in Saskatchewan. We don’t often thank a community such as Kenaston for making us who we are but this book gives us pause to do just that. We were loved, nurtured and challenged to live our best lives and most importantly we were allowed to have a voice. This book is Joy’s and I’m honoured to have the opportunity to listen and be changed by it.
Stacey Meyer, Alberta, Canada: Powerful, heart wrenching and heart warming...both at the same time. This is a MUST READ for anyone struggling to find meaning and understanding in the aftermath of tragedy and trauma. Joy’s courage to share her journey after her son’s suicide, has provided us all the gift of compassion, clarity and, above all, HOPE!! Thank you Joy, for being a guiding compass for so many that may feel lost in the fog of despair & depression. Your story is yours, but it is a beautiful one, thank you for sharing it with us! One step at a time!
Rui Portugal Ribeiro, Spain: I've been always a reader and, I wasn't able to finish the last 5 books I've bought lately. Joy's book is the exception and although I'm not a native English speaker it was very easy to read and I found myself not wanting to finish it. The honesty, the clarity and the meaningful story caught me since the first moment!! Highly recommended!